


The Jessie Thing

by aschicca



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: A bit of Rick/Jessie but it's brief and offscreen, Alexandria Safe-Zone (Walking Dead), Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Jealousy, M/M, Misunderstandings, Oral Sex, Pining, Post-Season/Series 05 Finale
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-18
Updated: 2020-05-18
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:35:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24251431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aschicca/pseuds/aschicca
Summary: Daryl is quite unhappy with the way Rick is handling the “Jessie thing” but he absolutely won’t talk to Rick about it, no matter how much everyone insists he should. He won’t, he just won’t talk to Rick. Until he does…
Relationships: Daryl Dixon/Rick Grimes
Comments: 12
Kudos: 176





	The Jessie Thing

**Author's Note:**

> I had a few sleepless nights recently (still am, tbh,) and this is the result. Let's just say I needed something to distract me and this story did the trick. I hope you'll enjoy it :)
> 
> Thank you to my Beta and dear friend, Piksa, for the love and the support.

“I ain’t gonna do it, ya can forget it. Y’all need to stop ‘specting me to deal with this shit. Ya wanna talk ta him? Yer more than welcome ta do it yerself.”

Daryl glared at Michonne and Carol and refused to let them convince him to talk to Rick. He wasn’t going to do it. Hell, he wasn’t even sure _Rick_ was anywhere to be found anymore, let alone willing to be talked to: he didn’t want to listen, and not just to Daryl but to anyone.

All Rick cared about now was a pretty blonde with two kids and an abusive husband. A dead husband now, shot by Rick himself in front of the whole fucking town. Let _Jessie_ talk to him, see if Daryl cared!

Which was a stupid lie because of course he cared. He was so jealous he could hardly think straight and he only wanted to be allowed to go back out there, with or without Aaron, so he wouldn’t have to be a witness to the Rick&Jessie show.

“Daryl come on,” Michonne sighed. “You know you’re the one that gets through to him. The one he can’t help but listen to even when he pretends he doesn’t!”

“He listens to ya, too. Ya convinced him ta come here, ta try. I weren’t gonna do it, he knew that. Didn’ even look at me, back there in tha’ barn. Looked at ya, didn’ he? Let ‘im look at ya now.”

“Daryl,” Michonne tried again, but Daryl was tired.

“I said no! Man, how many times do I have ta tell y’all?”

Michonne looked at Carol with an expression that clearly said, “Can you believe this shit?” and Daryl thought she might clobber him about the head like she did with Rick when he lost his mind in the middle of the street, a scene Daryl wasn’t even around to witness. Or prevent. When he’d heard about that, Daryl almost couldn’t believe it and in a flash he was back at the farm, listening to someone else rant and rave about things that might even be right, but no one was gonna listen if you screamed at people like a lunatic. A lunatic with a gun, no less.

Carol shook her head and some sort of silent conversation went on between her and Michonne because suddenly Michonne nodded and left.

“Don’t even,” Daryl warned, but Carol simply shrugged.

“Not gonna force you to do something you don’t want to do. I’ll say one thing, then I’m gone and you can do whatever you want. We need this place,” Carol looked dead serious and her voice was steel. “We need this, and we’ve basically succeeded in taking it. We’re almost there. We don’t need our leader and his right hand man at odds, not now. So talk to him about this Jessie thing or don’t, I don’t care. But talk to him and fix that, Daryl. I mean it.”

She glared at him for a second and he glared back, but before he could say something else she turned and walked away.

Furious, Daryl grabbed his crossbow and made his way to the gate. There was no way he could stay inside the walls of Alexandria, he needed to leave, be outside and _breathe_ at least for a few hours. 

Aaron was near the gate when Daryl asked the guy who was manning it to open it for him – Daryl was damned if he knew the man’s name and, frankly, he couldn’t care less. These people weren’t his family.

“You going back out?” Aaron asked, but Daryl thought the answer should be obvious so he didn’t bother with a reply. “Wait, I’m coming with you.”

“Nah. Goin’ alone.”

“Daryl…”

“Look,” Daryl whirled around to stare at Aaron. “Ain’t gonna go too far. Jus’ hunt for a while. Alone.”

“Deanna doesn’t want anyone to go out alone,” Aaron explained. “Now, you look like you need to be outside so I’m not stopping you, but I am tagging along. If I don’t, you can’t go out, so it’s either me or…”

Daryl rolled his eyes. Damn, these people and their rules! He sighed and nodded to Aaron and then they were finally out of the gates. They walked in the woods surrounding the Alexandria Safe Zone for a while and Daryl was glad when Aaron didn’t try to make conversation; he was just following Daryl’s lead just like he did when they were going after the Red Poncho guy and ended up almost dying. 

Daryl would have died for this guy, to make sure he’d get back to his husband and to his people, and it pissed him off now to admit that it was something _Rick_ taught him. Hell, if Merle had still been around, if they’d never got to the quarry, met the others, met Rick… Daryl would have probably still wanted to save a good man like Aaron – or to save a baby and his mother from the Walkers on a bridge – but he wouldn’t have been man enough, _changed_ enough to do it. Merle would look the other way and so would Daryl. The reason he didn’t anymore was Rick. Of course, that was when Rick was still around and hadn’t turned into a fucked up version of Shane.

Point was, Daryl would have died for Aaron, sacrificed himself for someone who actually had people who loved him – and yes, Daryl knew he was being unfair but he felt too detached from the people he’d come to consider his family to care – and now the least he could do was talk to the guy. He could see Aaron was dying to speak.

“What?” Daryl threw a sideway glance to Aaron. “Spit it out, man, I can hear yer brain ticking from here.”

Aaron snorted. “Yes, Eric’s always telling me how not subtle I am. I just… Did something happen?”

Daryl looked at him with a raised eyebrow. 

“I mean, I know _something_ happened, we stumbled over a carnage as soon as we got back with Morgan. But I meant now, today, with you. What’s got you all..” Aaron gestured towards Daryl.

Daryl shrugged. “Jus’ tired, ‘s all.”

“Right. Sure. And?”

“And what?”

Aaron sighed. “Daryl you can talk to me, I thought you knew that by now. You’re my friend. I consider you my friend. Let me be yours?”

Daryl stopped and looked intently at Aaron, evaluating him, his words, and the sentiment behind them. Aaron was sincere, Daryl concluded, and he was a good guy. If he wanted to be Daryl’s friend, Daryl could accept it. Hell, he probably already had. Motorcycle closed that deal.

“Whatever, man. Friends. Don’t mean we get to braid each other’s hair and talk about feelings and shit.”

Aaron laughed. “Fair enough. But if you need to, talk about everything I mean not just feelings, I’m here.”

Daryl nodded, then spotted a rabbit and took the shot. “Coupla more and we have dinner.”

“I was promised rabbits at one point, yes.”

Daryl snorted, picked up the rabbit and removed the arrow from its little body, then they were walking again. 

After a while, Daryl heard himself speak though he didn’t remember deciding to. “They wan’ me ta do somethin’. Talk to somebody. Ain’t gonna. Everybody’s pissed at me ‘cause of it. Figures. Can’t be pissed at _him_ , right? Better ta blame me.”

“Rick, uh?” Aaron walked closer to Daryl so he could look at him. “I thought you were avoiding him after that night. He’s been looking at you from afar but he never approaches you. Something happen?”

Rick was looking at him? That was news to Daryl. He wanted to ask Aaron for more information but he just couldn’t bring himself to and it frustrated him.

“Man, this again? Yes, something fuckin’ happen. He done lost his stupid mind, that’s what happened!”

Daryl regretted his outburst immediately, especially because talking like that about Rick made him feel disloyal, but it was too late to take it back.

Probably sensing Daryl’s internal turmoil, Aaron delicately took the long way around to get to his point. “When I was following you guys on that road, trying to decide if I could trust you enough to bring you in,” he said. “The one thing I immediately understood was that Rick was in charge, but he looked at you for support more often than not. You weren’t in a good place then, even I could see it, but Rick still always relied on you. It was like a second nature for him to know you’d have his back, and it was a second nature for you to be there whenever he needed it. You even managed to come out of the woods the second a Walker was about to attack Rick!”

“You was there? And you didn’t try to help?”

Daryl realized he was glaring when Aaron raised his hands in surrender. “I hadn’t decided if I could trust you… and I didn’t think _that_ was the best moment to introduce myself anyway. Besides, you had the situation well in hand. Even when things didn’t go like you’d planned, you still took care of it. You didn’t need me.”

Daryl nodded slowly and when Aaron pointed at a tree trunk on the ground, he followed him there and they sat.

“You was sayin’?”

Aaron took a deep breath. “You and Rick were so in sync that I was immediately in awe of the two of you. You talked with nods and looks, and I’d never seen that before. After you came to Alexandria, in the beginning, you were still doing that… but something changed. Didn’t it? Even Eric noticed, and he’d watched you guys a lot less than I did. That’s what I was asking you about when I wondered if something had happened.”

Daryl bit his lip and looked away from Aaron. The way he talked about what Rick and Daryl had made him feel the loss of that closeness, that trust, even more and Daryl didn’t want Aaron to see it written on his face. He was tempted to shrug, dismiss Aaron’s question, and just move on, but for some reason Daryl needed to tell someone. And he was feeling cut off from his family so Aaron, his friend like the man had called himself before, was all Daryl had.

“Told ya b’fore that I don’t fit in. Alexandria? Them houses? That’s not me, man. And if this wasn’t the end of the damn world, you wouldn’t wan’ me there neither.” Daryl glanced at Aaron and saw him looking troubled. “Nah. Ain’t no need to deny it. Ya know it’s true.”

“Daryl, many of those people probably wouldn’t have wanted to live door to door with me and Eric, either. Yes, we’re outsiders but it doesn’t mean that’s a bad thing. I’m not saying you need to change in order to be accepted, _I_ wouldn’t change, and nor would Eric. I’m just trying to make you see that you can find your own place without needing anyone else’s approval. You already have the ones that count anyway.”

“Ya mean Deanna’s? ‘Cause I ain’t that sure ‘bout that. ‘Specially now she decided she don’t need people going out looking for people no more.” 

And really, what need did Deanna have for Daryl if he couldn’t be sent out with Aaron?

“Is that what you’re afraid of? That’s what happened? You think you’re going to be thrown out?” Aaron sounded really concerned.

“Ain’t afraid of nothing,” Daryl said, voice low. “And you can try to send me away and see how it ends for ya. Ain’t gonna leave my family. Not as long as… They still wan’ me ‘round…”

Aaron tentatively placed a hand on Daryl’s shoulder and only relaxed when Daryl didn’t shake it off immediately. “No one is sending you anywhere, not if I have any say in the matter and believe me I do. But I’m starting to sense that’s not the real issue here. Do you…Daryl, do you think your people don’t want you around anymore?”

Daryl shrugged. “Everybody’s busy, doing their own thing. ‘F I weren’t in the picture no more, maybe they’d take a while to notice.”

“You’re not serious, are you?” Aaron looked disbelieving and Daryl glared at him. “Daryl, that’s so far from the truth, you… Carol trusts you more than anyone else in the world, it’s so obvious she might as well have a sign hanging on her neck. Michonne counts on you, as does Glenn, and Maggie… Hell, everyone in your group. And Rick’s kids? The little girl lights up whenever she catches sight of you, and Carl takes for granted that you’d be in the same house he lives in. And yes, before you ask, I heard him say that with my own ears. And Rick…”

“Rick what? Uh? Looks at me? So what? He sure as shit ain’t talking or listening ta me! He got other things on his mind,” Daryl bit his lip and internally cursed himself for saying too much. Aaron was too perceptive not to pick up on what Daryl meant.

“Oh,” Aaron commented proving Daryl right immediately. “Oh, that’s… uhm… okay, now I get it.”

“You get what?” Daryl got up on his feet and towered on Aaron. “What?”

“Jessie,” Aaron said, looking up at Daryl with a serene expression. In a way, Daryl was glad that Aaron realized he had nothing to fear from Daryl but damn if he wouldn’t have liked him to be a little more intimidated and drop the subject.

Daryl sighed. “Michonne wants me ta talk ta him. ‘Bout her, ‘bout what he’s doin’. Ain’t gonna. He wouldn’t even care if I did. Wouldn’t listen.”

“He might, you don’t know. Rick strikes me as the kind of man who usually makes up his own mind, but he’ll always listen and think about what others suggested. He might not always do what you ask, but he’ll think about it. It’ll stay in his head until he’s mulled it over, and even if he might take a while to get around it, he’ll still consider it. That’s important, shows he’s not a dictator but can take opinions and evaluate them before discarding them. Am I right? Is Rick like that?”

Daryl thought about it. “Yeah. Yeah, he is. But that don’t change nothing. Still ain’t gonna talk ta him.”

“Then don’t, I mean no one can force you,” Aaron tilted his head. “Of course, it might do you some good, too. You obviously do have something to say to him…”

Daryl’s shoulders dropped. “Don’t matter, it ain’t like I don’t know how ta keep my mouth shut. ‘Sides, even if he did listen, he wouldn’t wanna hear it. He wants ta drool after that woman, he even got her husband out of ta way, ain’t no way he’d like what I gotta say.”

“Daryl, do you… Are you and Rick…”

“No,” Daryl denied sternly. “No way. Don’t even think it.”

Aaron raised his hands in surrender, then also stood up. “I won’t. Sorry. Just… know you can talk to me, okay? I’m here. Whatever you need, man. Okay?”

Daryl gave a curt nod then simply walked off. He’d find a couple more rabbits for Aaron and maybe he’d be invited for dinner at his house that night so he could avoid Michonne’s unsubtle requests, Carol’s glare and, obviously, Rick.

*

Daryl wasn’t going to approach Rick and he did everything he could the following week to avoid him altogether. Of course, that meant that Rick was the one to find him and ask to talk, and really Daryl should have just known this would happen.

“Sit,” Rick invited.

They were alone in the house and, while Daryl sat at the kitchen table, Rick took out a couple of bottles of water and brought them to the table. He offered one to Daryl then sat down.

“You’ve been avoiding me and I wanna know why,” Rick said and his expression and tone of voice told Daryl that he wouldn’t be denied.

“‘S nothin’. Been busy, ‘s all. We both have.”

“Yes, we have. But I’ve been trying to find you and you’re always somewhere else. You didn’t even come talk to me about your trip outside the walls with Aaron. I had to hear it from him. _He_ was the one that told me,” Rick was dead serious, and Daryl fidgeted.

“Told ya what?”

“The guy you followed, the trap, the Walkers. Your offer. What in the hell, Daryl?”

Anger surged inside Daryl and he glared. “He’s got someone that cares. Needed to come back.”

“And you don’t? That what you’re saying?”

Daryl sighed. “Leave it, Rick. ‘S over, ‘s done. Morgan arrived and saved our asses, ain’t no need to talk ‘bout it no more.”

“Of course we need to talk about it! Especially if you plan to do something that stupid again!” Rick held his water bottle so tight in his hands that Daryl thought it might explode soon.

“Savin’ a life, that stupid to ya?”

Rick sighed, closed his eyes and visibly tried to relax. “That’s not what I’m saying and you know it. Don’t pretend you don’t understand where I’m going with this. Of course what you offered to do for Aaron wasn’t stupid. It was brave, and selfless; it was _you_. But you need to start being selfish when you’re out there without me. You need to start putting yourself first and yes, yes, try to save others’ lives if you can but first you save your own ass. You come back here. We need you, Daryl.”

Daryl snorted. Yeah, right.

Rick gave him a weird look. “What? You don’t believe it? You… Daryl, what happened? What made you think your role in this group isn’t the same anymore? We need you now just as much as we always did. _I_ need you. Don’t you know that?”

“Shane never had any use fa me,” Daryl said, quietly, and stared into Rick’s eyes while they widened.

“What did you say?”

“Said Shane don’t need me, never did.”

Rick abandoned the water bottle and leaned forward. “I don’t understand what you mean, and I can’t say I like your tone.”

Suddenly, Daryl was tired. He didn’t want to talk, he did everything he could to avoid this, but now there they were and he might as well finish what he started. It wasn’t like things could get any worse now.

“Shane, ya know? Goin’ after another man’s wife, losin’ his mind b’hind a pair a tits and a smile, not carin’ ‘bout no one else but her. Decidin’ he would kill the husband so he could get the girl. Shane,” Daryl said, pointing at Rick. “Ya know.”

Rick’s face darkened but Daryl couldn’t bring himself to regret his words. They needed to be said, he knew that now. Rick needed to hear them, and Daryl needed to let them out. 

“Thread carefully now,” Rick’s voice was low and dangerous. 

“You deny it, then? Shane? Do ya?” Daryl felt on thin ice but he couldn’t stop. He _wouldn’t_.

“The only reason why I’m not breaking your jaw right now is ‘cause of the respect I have for you. But you mind your words from this point on, and that’s a fair warning. Do not _ever_ call me that again, you hear?”

“The shoe fits, though, don’t it? You could ask Rick, ‘m sure he’d agree. Pity he’s nowhere ta be found these days,” Daryl knew this might end in a fight, and he was ready to take his beating. He wouldn’t defend himself when it came, he would never hurt Rick, but he wasn’t backing down.

Rick abruptly got up and started pacing. He stopped every now and then to glare darkly down at Daryl but he never came too close. Rick’s fists were closed and he was breathing hard, and Daryl instinctively cowered a bit. Usually when someone looked like that around Daryl it meant that he would soon be bleeding on the floor. It was okay, he deserved it, but his body tried to appear small anyway. Survival instinct kicking in and all that.

Rick noticed, stopped dead in his tracks, and finally turned his back to Daryl. He breathed deeply a few times and slowly unclenched his fists. When he turned around, most of the fury had gone out of his face and Daryl relaxed a fraction.

Rick sat. “I understand why you said… why you thought… but the comparison isn’t fair, Daryl. I’m not Shane. And Pete, he was beating her, abusing her, terrorizing her kids. Surely you can see…”

“I see a guy willing to push his son into the ground ta keep beatin’ on a man while wantin’ ta fuck his wife. Don’t that sound like Shane ta ya?”

Daryl really couldn’t believe it when Carol told him that Rick pushed Carl away so hard when his son tried to stop him that the kid fell backwards in the street. He knew what Rick was capable of, he’d seen it with his own two eyes, but to risk hurting Carl? Daryl couldn’t wrap his head around it and he hated it. 

He hated to think that Rick would do that for _Jessie_.

“That was an accident and I apologized to Carl so many times that he got fed up with me. I didn’t realize it was him, sure, but he could have gotten hurt. That’s on me. My fault, you’re right about that. But Pete needed to go, don’t tell me you’re defending an abuser? You?”

“I ain’t talkin’ ‘bout Pete,” Daryl said. “Don’t care if he’s dead, never gave a shit. ‘M talking ‘bout you. That guy was an asshole, deserved what he got, but ya didn’ do it ‘cause of that. Ya did it ‘cause ya wanted his wife. That he was beatin’ her, that was jus’ an excuse. Ya may not wan’ ta see it, it don’t mean it’s not true.”

Daryl could see that Rick wanted to argue, press his point over and over until he convinced Daryl he’d been in the right, but Daryl didn’t want to hear it. He rose and left his bottle of water untouched on the table.

“Don’t wanna talk no more. Ya don’t wanna listen’ anyway. ‘S all fine, ya do what’cha gotta do. ‘M here if ya need. I jus’… Jus’ wish _Rick_ were here, too.”

Using those as parting words and not allowing Rick’s shock to fade, Daryl left the house.

*

Two nights later, Daryl was sitting alone on the front porch of the house. Everybody else was asleep but he didn’t feel like getting to bed. There, in the still of the night, alone under the stars, Daryl felt like he could breathe even if he was trapped behind the walls of Alexandria.

“Hey,” Rick greeted and sat down beside him.

Daryl nodded but didn’t turn to look at him.

“Was waiting for everyone to go to bed, thought we could finish our talk.”

“Ain’t nothin’ more ta tell.”

“You wanted me to listen and I did. I did, Daryl, and I understood what you were saying. I still don’t like you calling me Shane and I still think it’s unfair that you did, but I see now, I get it. You were right,” Rick’s voice was soft and earnest, and Daryl couldn’t help but relax. Damn but he’d missed him.

“‘S okay. Told ya.”

“No, it’s not okay. You’re still not looking at me,” Rick said, and Daryl turned towards him.

“‘M lookin’.”

“You’re not, but it’s okay. It’ll take time. I’ll work on it.” Daryl looked at him puzzled and Rick grinned. Then he spoke again, “I think I went a little crazy when we first got here.”

“Ya think?”

Rick laughed. “Yeah. These people let the wolf in and I tried to wear sheep clothing but I was all wolf. Still am a bit. Was bound to show sooner or later, and it did. In the streets, in front of everyone, when you weren’t here to stop me… or help me with it, more likely.”

Daryl snorted. “Wouldna hit you on tha head, ‘s for sure. Sorry I missed Michonne doin’ it, though.”

“Yeah, I deserve it,” Rick admitted, still smiling. 

“‘T was another Shane thing,” Daryl said, and Rick’s smile faded. “Not tryin’ ta piss you off, jus’ wan’ ya ta see. The barn? Shane yelling and shootin’ that Walker in front of Hershel? He’s right. Back then. He was. Everythin’ he said was true. But the way he said it, all screamin’ and shootin’ and pissed. Nobody liked it, nobody even listened. He was wrong ‘cause he said it wrong, not ‘cause of what he said. So was you.”

Rick was silent for a long moment, then he nodded. “Guess I can see that. Yeah. Don’t like it but I see it. Thank you for sayin’ it, by the way, even if it felt like a punch in the gut.”

Daryl nodded.

“I guess what I was trying to say,” Rick continued, “is that I decided we were gonna take this place, one way or the other, and somehow I included Jessie in it, too. She’s nice, pretty, she makes me feel like I did before, like I can go back to that. But I can’t, can I? The wolf is here to stay. And also, now that I’ve calmed down a bit, I can see that Jessie and I… we were never gonna work. Don’t think I ever really thought we might. I was just taking and taking and taking… and she was caught in the middle.”

“Understand that,” Daryl acknowledged. “Sorry I gave ya a hard time for the ‘Jessie thing.’”

“The ‘Jessie thing?’ That how we’re calling it?” Rick was amused.

Daryl shrugged and blushed a bit. “Whatever, man. Sure ain’t apologizin’ for the ‘Shane thing’. So ya might ‘s well take it.”

“Not easy to swallow but as I said I’m seeing your point now.”

They sat in silence for a while and then Daryl heard himself say, “I missed ya, man,” though he knew for sure he hadn’t meant to speak.

Rick smiled at him, though, so Daryl breathed in relief.

“Yeah,” Rick said, and kept looking at him for a long time.

*

When Daryl caught Jessie smiling at Rick the following day and saw him smile back his shoulders dropped. Rick didn’t listen at all, did he? He talked circles around Daryl, made him think he’d taken his advice, that what he thought meant something, then turned and did whatever he wanted anyway. 

Fuming, Daryl ignored Carol while she tried to talk to him and resolutely walked towards the gates. He wasn’t staying around to watch Rick turn back into Shane, not after Daryl finally thought he was getting him back. And he sure as hell wasn’t staying around to see him flirt with that blonde.

The feelings Daryl had for Rick would never be returned, Daryl knew that and he accepted it. Had since Atlanta, really. Still, he couldn’t stomach seeing the man he loved hanging onto a pretty girl’s smile.

While walking towards the gates, Daryl was forced to pass close to where Rick and Jessie stood but he kept his eyes to the ground and refused to look over.

“Daryl,” Rick called.

Daryl kept walking.

“Hey, Daryl!”

No way he was stopping now. There was nothing Rick could say that Daryl would want to hear.

A hand on his arm halted his progress and Daryl couldn’t do anything else but let himself be turned around to face Rick.

“Didn’t you hear me calling you just now? Where’re you going?” Rick looked at him the same way he did the night before and Daryl wanted to scream.

“Out,” he shot. “You’s busy anyway. Lemme go.”

Rick watched him puzzled for a moment, then realization dawned on his face and he smiled a bit. 

“Wasn’t busy. Jessie was offering to watch Judith if I need a hand. Told her we got it covered. That’s all. No other ‘thing’ going on,” Rick said, cocking his head.

Daryl stared at him but he wasn’t lying. “Ah.”

“Yeah, ah. You know, you need to start giving me the benefit of the doubt if we want this to work. Can’t keep going around thinking the worst of me all the time. Rick’s back, remember?”

Daryl looked down, chastised. “Sorry,” he mumbled, and felt Rick’s hand squeeze his arm.

“It’s fine. Now, if you go out you take somebody with you, remember? Aaron or someone else. I’d come but I have a few things to take care of today.”

Daryl nodded. “I’ll ask Aaron.”

“Okay, but don’t let him invite you for dinner tonight. I was hoping we could talk again and I already know Carl and Michonne won’t be in tonight. So as soon as Judy’s down for the count, we can talk. Okay for you?” Rick asked expectantly.

“Yeah.”

Daryl couldn’t think of anything else they still needed to discuss but now that he had Rick back, now that he knew he’d meant it when he said he’d reconsidered the ‘Jessie thing’, Daryl was more than willing to sit with Rick and listen to whatever the other man wanted to discuss.

*

Judith was fast asleep, Michonne was kipping with Carol next door for the night, and Carl had come back after dinner with a CD player, headphones, and a whole lot of CDs. He excused himself almost immediately and Daryl was sure he’d spend the night reading comics with music blaring in his ears. Rick and Daryl were, for all intents and purposes, alone.

They sat on the couch and talked about everything and nothing for a while. It felt to Daryl as if they were finally re-connecting and catching each other up on whatever they’d missed when they’d fallen apart. Rick did most of the talking but that was nothing new with them.

“I wanted to say,” Rick breathed deeply before continuing. “I’m sorry. For making you think I was gonna hit you the other day. Hell, for basically saying I would if you kept speaking your mind. That was wrong of me; it’s been weighing on my mind ever since it happened, and I’m sorry, Daryl. I hope you know that I would never hurt you. Never.”

“I know,” Daryl reassured. “Woulda deserved it, way I was talking ta ya, but I know you wouldn’ have.”

“You did _not_ deserve it, and I don’t want you to think you did. You can come to me and tell me anything, Daryl, and I might not like it or agree with it but that doesn’t give me the right to make you feel like you’re about to be beaten for that.”

Daryl looked at Rick and the passion in his eyes made him feel hot all over. Rick meant it, Daryl could tell, and it filled his heart to hear it.

He nodded. “You ain’t like that. Always known it. ‘S okay.”

Rick sighed and nodded his thanks. “I’m also sorry that I made you feel like no one would care if you didn’t come back. You said Aaron has people who love him, but so do you. If anything I did made you feel like you didn’t, then… Jesus, I’m so sorry, Daryl.”

Daryl bit the tip of his finger and looked down. He shrugged. “This place, man. Guess you wasn’t the only one got a bit crazy inside here. Guess we all did. Weren’t sure I still had a place with y’all ‘cause I weren’t sure I had a place here, ya know? And y’all had one. So that’s…”

“Your place is with me,” Rick said. “Hey. _Hey._ ” Daryl looked up at Rick. “Your place is wherever I am and don’t you ever doubt it.”

“Ain’t easy when…” Daryl trailed off and shrugged.

“The ‘Jessie thing’ again? That why you doubted it?” Daryl looked away again so Rick placed a hand on his cheek to turn him back towards himself. “Daryl, I hope I’m not reading this wrong, but if I am I hope you’ll be able to forgive me.”

“‘Bout what?”

Rick used his gentle hold on Daryl’s cheek to angle his face then slowly, giving Daryl ample time to pull away, he lowered his own face until his lips locked with Daryl’s. It was just a peck, and then Rick pulled back and looked at Daryl.

“I don’t understand,” Daryl confessed, and he didn’t. Why was Rick kissing him? Was it to console him, make him feel better for believing he was going to be thrown out of his family for not fitting in? Was it to apologize again for making him cower in fear of a beating? Or was it…something else? Something Daryl couldn’t name and that he never believed he could have?

“Let’s say I’m showing you the most important reason why the ‘Jessie thing’ could never amount to anything. I don’t know what I felt for her, but whatever that was it wasn’t worth it if it could make me lose you. You saying you wished you had Rick back? Kept me up at night. I wanted to be back for you, come back to you. I wanted you back. And then I realized I wanted more from you. You’re not just my brother, Daryl. That is, if you want…” Rick stopped and waited for Daryl to say something.

Daryl’s heart was in his throat and he couldn’t bring himself to speak. Actions always spoke louder than words so he darted forwards and smashed his lips against Rick’s.

Rick held him and laughed a bit against his lips, and Daryl loved that laugh because it wasn’t teasing or ridiculing: it was a happy laugh.

*

The door of Rick’s bedroom was locked and Daryl lay naked on Rick’s bed. Shirtless but still wearing his jeans, Rick looked at him from the side of the bed but Daryl didn’t mind the scrutiny.

“The things I wanna do to you.” Rick’s voice was primal, almost animalistic, and Daryl’s cock twitched.

“So do them.”

“Yeah? You gonna let me do what I want?”

Daryl nodded and slowly opened his legs. His experience with sex was very limited. He’d lost his cherry to a waitress that Merle paid to ‘make him a man’ but Daryl never really enjoyed himself with her. His ‘real’ first time had been with a truck driver he’d met in a bar that had taken him in the back of his truck and kept him there all night. Daryl had loved everything that man did to him but hadn’t gone looking for other men after that. The risk of somebody who knew Merle catching him and telling his brother was too high and Daryl wasn’t willing to pay the price of Merle finding out about him.

Still, Daryl remembered how good it felt to suck a cock, have it inside his ass, or even feel it against his own, and couldn’t wait to give Rick whatever he wanted.

Rick took off his jeans and underwear making Daryl’s mouth water. 

“C’me here,” Daryl invited and, as soon as he had Rick’s cock within reach, Daryl immediately took it in his mouth.

“Ah! Daryl!” Rick’s hands grabbed his head, and Daryl moaned when he felt Rick’s fingers in his hair. “Fuck, just like that.”

Daryl sucked and took in as much cock as he could, thankful for the fact that his gag reflex wasn’t that strong. Rick’s hips moved in sync with Daryl’s mouth and his moans made Daryl’s cock even harder.

When one of Rick’s hands left his head, Daryl immediately wanted it back. He’d loved how Rick alternated caressing his hair with gripping his head hard when he liked something Daryl was doing with his tongue too much to resist. Before he could protest and ask Rick to grab his head again using both hands, however, he felt where Rick’s hand was going and groaned around Rick’s cock.

Rick’s fingers were wet with saliva and they skimmed over Daryl’s heated cock before burying themselves in between his legs. Immediately, Daryl spread them wider and Rick played a bit with his hole. He tapped it, circled it, and moved the pad of his index finger back and forth over it. The sensation was both too much and not enough for Daryl and he let Rick’s cock slip out of his mouth to moan loudly.

“More,” he said. “C’mon, Rick. More.”

“I’ll give you more,” Rick’s voice was low and guttural. “I’ll give you everything you want. You just keep sucking. You’re so good at it. Suck me, Daryl, and I’ll give you what you need.”

A shiver ran through Daryl’s body and he immediately obeyed. Rick’s cock in his mouth, Rick’s hand on his head, and Rick’s fingers in his hole… Heaven definitely had to feel like this.

When one of Rick’s fingers finally entered him, Daryl thanked him with a particularly hard suck on the head of Rick’s cock. Rick’s groan was music to Daryl’s ears, so he did it again and again until he had to stop and let out a groan of his own when that finger started fucking in and out of him.

Rick released Daryl’s head in order to take something off the nightstand and his finger also slipped out of him, but this time Daryl didn’t feel like protesting because he knew Rick had grabbed the lube. He just kept dutifully sucking Rick’s cock, saliva slobbering all over it and down to his balls, while Rick lubed his fingers and fucked his cock slowly inside Daryl’s mouth.

“Jesus, that mouth. I could come just like this,” Rick told him. “You’re just so fucking good. Yes, like that. Don’t stop.”

A moment later, Rick’s hand was fisted back in his hair and two of his fingers, now slick with lube, entered Daryl and started working their way in and out. Daryl moaned around Rick’s cock while he was stretched and caressed from the inside, and when Rick found his prostate Daryl almost choked on Rick’s cock.

“Fuck,” Daryl said, Rick’s cock out of his mouth for a second. “Do that again. Rick…”

Rick complied and fucked Daryl with his fingers while also slowly fucking his face. Daryl never wanted it to end but he also wanted more. 

He released Rick’s cock once again. “Fuck me. C’mon, Rick, get inside me.”

Rick nodded, bent down to lick the saliva and his own pre-cum from Daryl’s lips, then removed his fingers and placed himself on the bed between Daryl’s legs.

“Open for me,” Rick said, and Daryl immediately obeyed. 

With his legs bracketing Rick’s hips and his own hips angled up to better receive Rick’s cock, Daryl looked down to see Rick enter him. Rick did it slowly, so slowly it almost drove Daryl mad, and when he was almost all inside Rick lay completely on top of Daryl and took his hands in his own. Using his hold, Rick brought Daryl’s arms on top of his head, interlocked their fingers, and kept them there. Then, he started moving his hips and fucking into Daryl.

“Rick…”

“Yes. Just like this. Take me, take it all,” Rick whispered in Daryl’s ear, and then started kissing his jaw, his cheek and finally his mouth.

All Daryl could feel was Rick: Rick’s tongue in his mouth, Rick’s hands in his, Rick’s nipples rubbing against his chest and his own rubbing against Rick’s; and then Rick’s cock inside his ass, and Rick’s stomach muscle trapping Daryl’s cock and giving it the friction it needed.

Everything was Rick, and Daryl never knew anything more perfect in his entire life. He didn’t even know this kind of perfection existed, and that it could be his.

“I’m close,” Rick said. “I want you to come like this. With me. Can you do that? With my cock fucking you and yours rubbing against me? That’s how I want it. Will you give it to me?”

“Everything, Rick,” Daryl replied, and Rick started fucking him harder and harder. 

Rick’s hips moved wildly and his hands clenched in Daryl’s, he let out a loud groan and then pumped a few more times inside Daryl, hitting his prostate over and over before he started coming. Daryl followed him immediately after when he felt Rick’s lips on his neck and his cum filling him up.

Afterwards, Rick released Daryl’s hands and collapsed on top of him. Daryl immediately held Rick tight against himself and they breathed together.

“This is what I meant.”

“Hmm?”

Rick spoke directly in Daryl’s ear. “This is what I meant when I said you belong with me. Just like this. You and me. Wherever I am, you need to be, too. If you’re not, I can’t be complete.”

Daryl felt his eyes water and he hid his emotion in Rick’s shoulder. He held Rick even tighter and nodded.

“Never doubt it again,” Rick said.

“Won’t.”

*

When they went down for breakfast the morning after, Michonne was in the kitchen sipping tea. Rick nodded at her and then busied himself with what passed for coffee in the apocalypse.

She raised an eyebrow at them, hid her smile behind her cup, then addressed Daryl. “I see you did talk to him after all.”

Daryl rolled his eyes, and she laughed in his face.

“What is this all about?” Rick asked.

“Nothing, never mind,” Michonne grinned. “This is good,” she said then pointing at them. “About time.”

Smiling, Rick gave Daryl a cup of coffee. “Yeah, been a long time coming but I guess I needed a scare to get my ass moving.”

Michonne nodded. “I’m happy for you,” she said. “Now maybe you’ll get your head on straight, and we can start working towards making this place a home.”

With one last look, Michonne left the kitchen.

“Do you mind?” Rick asked when she was out of range.

“Wha’?”

“That Michonne knows. That the others soon will. That I confirmed it immediately without checking with you first… maybe you wanted this to stay between us,” Rick explained.

“I belong with you, right?” Daryl asked, and Rick immediately nodded. “Then it’s okay. Don’t care if they know. ‘S fine.”

Rick smiled, visibly relaxing, “Guess it is. See? In the end that ‘Jessie thing’ wasn’t a complete waste of time,” he joked.

Daryl glared, and Rick laughed out loud.


End file.
